oothie

Messy Messing.  Now I’ve seen this done before, usually on bad cupcakes… cover them with enough icing and you may not notice the dry crusty baked good underneath.  And it almost works for you..almost.  But the delerious… OMG I’D KILL FOR A CHEESEBURGER look on your face is a dead giveaway.  You know how the running joke on Will & Grace was about you having no boobs?  Try my favorite boob enhancing diet, cheeseburgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Guaranteed!

Ahoy Matey!  Keira I imagine corsets are painful, but don’t let your mind be warped by those filthy pirates!  Your waist doesn’t need to be 12”, those bulges of fat on your chest are boobs and they’re supposed to be there.  Some people (don’t faint) even like to accentuate them!  So join me, eat a cheeseburger.  We can even go to Burger King if you like…I think they still have a treasure chest of toys there…

posh
adjective
stylish, fancy, high-class, fashionable, chic, luxurious, luxury, deluxe, exclusive, opulent.

Hmmm no where in there do I see bony, asexual and “to resemble your 10 year old son”.  Seriously Vicky, if you can fit into your 5 year olds clothing it might be time to eat a cheeseburger.

Amy Amy Amy.  Well…I’m pretty sure that you can’t grind up a cheeseburger and snort it so that likely won’t appeal to you.  But if you can stop rolling the GBP for long enough to notice that putting the white powder up your nose is making you skeletal…we’ll all be better off!  Besides, cheeseburgers are tasty!

Kelly Ripa, first I would like to thank you for being the very first OOTHIE on my blog.  Second, I would like to introduce you to my friend, the cheeseburger.  I know it’s been a long time since you’ve tasted anything other than your children’s gluestick, but I assure you putting just a little meat on those bones won’t make Regis love you any less.